You ruined me
For **...for knowing more about me than he should, for understanding my f'd up heart. For making me laugh. For whispering "I got you, don't worry" because he knows too much. For telling me "Love You" when he was leaving last night. He SO gets me & my curious mind, my flirty smile and the way we look at each other in "secret code." He reminded me that it's ok to be me...
I don't think this is true for all, but it is true for me. It doesn't matter what people say, if they get close, they always end up leaving. Casual friendships can last indefinitely - it's the people I really let inside my heart that end up leaving and taking a piece of me with them.
As I get ready to board the plane, I steal a glance back. He's still there, staring back at me. I feel his heart break along with my own. I keep walking away, but he has his ways that get my to fall back to him. But right now I need to be strong. Because I'm leaving. This time for a long time.I start to turn away when i see his month move. "I Love you." That's it. I don't know if I can do it.
C'est la vie
See, this is why I COULDNT be your "friend" again when you asked...I worked hard to get rid of those feelings, to grow stronger to find out who I am... I knew that if I have in, all if those feelings would come rushing back it wouldn't have been good...NOTHING good would have come out of it...at least not for me... as much as I cared about you, I never cared about me in the process that's what I'm doing now. Doing what's best for me.