After infidelity the unfaithful spouse may say to just get over it. Empathy for the betrayed spouse is imperative for healing. One of the reasons couples fail after an affair is the unfaithful spouse not getting it.
PTSD: Sudden noises make me jump; nightmares continue to steal my sleep; flashbacks cause me to remember the trauma that I endured, over and over again. It's not a choice, once the trauma is experienced the subconscious mind plays it over and over again.