Funny jokes for adults

A monkey is sitting in a tree, smoking a joint, when a lizard walks past. The lizard looks up and says "Hey, what are you doing?" The monkey says "Smoking a joint. Come up and join me." So the lizard climbs up and sits next to the monkey, and they have another joint. After a while, the...

A sixteen year-old boy came home with a brand new Ford F150. His parents look at the truck and ask, "Where did you get that truck?!" "I bought it today," he says. "With what money?" says his mother arching an eyebrow. They knew what a new F150 cost. "Well," he says, "this one cost me...

A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over […]

Two priests decided to go to Hawaii on vacation. They were determined to make this a real vacation by not wearing anything that would identify them as clergy. As soon as the plane landed they headed for a store and bought some really outrageous shorts, shirts, sandals, sunglasses. The next morning they went to the...

Two hillbillies walk into a restaurant. While having a bite to eat, they talk about their moonshine operation. Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to cough. After a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress. One of the hillbillies...

This night they have had one too many Bacardi Breezers and are unsteadily walking home. On the way they suddenly realize that they really have to pee, and lacking any proper facilities, they decide to sneak into a graveyard. The first woman realizes that she has nothing to wipe with, so she...

How you feel about Airbnb will depend on your prior experiences. There’s a lot of love for the company, but there’s an equal amount of hate for its business practices, too. On the one hand, you can book a place to stay pretty much anywhere around the world. On the other hand, hefty cleaning fees, the lack of support, and sometimes iffy host practices can leave a foul taste in your mouth.