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When you haven't worn makeup in a week and you put mascara on and you're like ... move over Beyonce. Mama's back.

When you haven't worn makeup in a week and you put mascara on and you're like . move over Beyonce. Mama's back. Totally how I feel when I go to work one day a week!

Simon Holland

All parents want is for our kids to go to bed so we can watch a show with bad words in it and eat the hidden snacks.

In a grocery store and people look at you and your singing kiddo

You never know how inappropriate song lyrics are, until you hear your child singing them.

Amen

"When I was a kid I wanted to grow old. This shit is not what I expected." growing up, childhood, quote, Isn't that the truth!

Almost my entire life, apparently! Very few choices that weren't a mistake, unfortunately!

Almost my entire life, apparently! Very few choices that weren't a mistake…

Truth!

I panic inside my head as I walk with a smile on my face, as soon, it will feel too uncomfortable to bear.

Yeah!

They should put prizes in your Tampax box. Your period sucks, but here's a off ice-cream you cranky bitch.

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