Jul 11, 2013 - Funny Quotes About Girlfriends My girlfriend told me I should be more affectionate. So I got myself two girlfriends. I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met. Here's to our wives and girlfriends: May they never meet! My girlfriend asked if I would swim across the ocean for her, and I said It’s freaking 2011, I’ll rent a boat. My girlfriend always laughs during sex no matter what she's reading. Women Quotes Funny Men Quotes Famous Quotes My wife dresses to kill. She also cooks the same way. Well, a girlfriend once told me never to fight with anybody you don't love. There's only two people in your life you should lie to... the police and your girlfriend. I always say now that I'm in my blonde years. Because since the end of my marriage, all of my girlfriends have been blonde. I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that. My girlfriend bought me a down jacket, she said it fit my personality. Follow Funny Quotes Today on Facebook and Twitter for the Quote of the day.